I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
