Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
