4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
