alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
