You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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