Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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