So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
