Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
