I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
