no, he came in my armpit
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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