I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
