do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Swine flu is the new snow day.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Alive.
So much puke
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
