He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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