never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
