thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
