Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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