What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
The feeling are messing with the penis
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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