That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Randomize
