Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
