woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
