It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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