I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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