she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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