Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Randomize
