yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I want to be your penis for a week.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize