Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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