last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
