Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
it's great music for shaving your balls
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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