Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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