how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
