# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
