party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
