My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
