awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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