He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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