Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
