Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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