i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
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