Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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