We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
My bed smells like the plague
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize