Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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