I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize