We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
