I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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