I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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