I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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