tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
