P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I have fence marks all over my body
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
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