Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
