wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
