i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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