in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
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