Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
