I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
