cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize