upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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