Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
