Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
