Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
