people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize