Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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